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Who ate all the pies?

Today’s Premier League stars are some of the world’s most highly trained egos. And they’re quite athletic too. But in years gone by, a good first touch and quick footballing brain could disguise a somewhat less than perfect physique. Maradona – say no more.

So here’s our pick of the porkers who’d make up Tubs United:

Of course, it’s Neville Southall in goal –undisputed heavyweight between the sticks. Then a back-four of Kenny ‘Squat’ Sanson, Steve Bruce, Terry Horlock (ex Fulham legend and one for the pie shop) and Ooh, Aah, Paul McGrath. Not bad for a back four, as long as they’re not playing against any pace.

In midfield, we’ve selected the Baby-Faced Cry Baby, Thomas ‘Smorgasbord’ Brolin, Matt LeTissier, Dean Windass and Jan Molby (of course).

And upfront, legendary ‘big’ man Micky Quinn and Mark Viduka (who is actually now much trimmer than he has been).

Any suggestions for the subs bench?

(Image: from Sashatootie’s flickr stream)

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