Wayne & Coleen : countdown to the wedding is on

So, 48 hours and counting till the biggest WAG / baller wedding ever - and Wayne and Coleen are already half way there.

The pair signed an official 'Declaration of Intent to Marry' in a town hall in Portofino yesterday, making the first of their wedding vows at the same time - "my millions are your millions and your millions are mine".... “What’s mine is yours and what’s yours is mine”. Wayne wore beach shorts, a T shirt and Wayfarers, while Coleen jazzed it up a bit in a Missoni dress and Italian regulation, enormous shades. Although the sunglasses were so dark and thick she could barely see, the gold trimmings matched the gold straps on her dress so sublimely that for the 30 minute ceremony Coleen was happy to trade partial blindness for fashion.

Family and friends arrived by private jet last night - weedled down to a measly fifty after some Rooney relatives failed to make the cut. Stephen, Wayne's cross dressing gay cousin was chopped after insisting on being chief bridesmaid. And another cousin Natalie, was axed after flashing her bangers at a previous family gathering. But for those who did make the team...they're looking at the weekend getaway in Italy of their lives.

Private jets to and from the bash (to take place in an old, pious and very expensive abbey) Cristal breakfasts, Cristal on tap all day, personal goody bags complete with real life butterflies trapped inside, a masked ball, a luxury yacht to whizz guests up and down the Italian Riviera, and Westlife. Pairfick. We'll be popping on a Primarni special and dropping in on the bash ourselves - just as soon as we work out how to get past the OK Magazine bouncers!

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