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The Athlete, The Ambassador, The Icon

Few things are funnier than catching the full pomposity of a sportsman in full view, just when they don't want you to see it. Be it claiming moral victory after being beaten by supposedly inferior opposition, or attacks on referees, it's one of life's great pleasures.

So here to amuse us all is Michael Owen's brochure, complete with the assertion that the permanently-crocked former Newcastle striker is 'cool'. Nothing says 'cool' quite like whoring yourself around any club that will take you with a 32-page glossy brochure, innit?

Anyway, you don't need any half-arsed cracks from us, just take a look at the link below and delight in the sheer appallingness of it all. WARNING, Daily Mail content.

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