Superbowl finalists confirmed

To us, American Football is as arcane a pursuit as cricket is to the Americans. You only have to read today’s reports on how the New England Patriots and New York Giants became this year’s superbowl finalists to understand what we mean.

Column inches covering this ‘global’ news story are littered with names, manoeuvres and titles that are just meaningless to the uninitiated. Rushing-back, pass-down, touch-back, field goal… etc

The news got us thinking about how we could spice up the Premier League by naming the teams a little more creatively. Okay, some have already got names – like, ahem, The Cottagers. But they’re all a bit dull. So, here’s our new rundown:
• The Man Utd Conceit
• The Arsenal Haw-hee-haw-hee-haw
• The Chelsea Oligarchs
• The Everton Chew
• The Man City Others
• The Liverpool Steelers
• Aston Villa Vanilla
• The Portsmouth Hello Sailors
• The Blackburn Crunch
• The West Ham Power Tools
• Tottenham Hot Fudge
• The Newcastle Phenomenon
• The Middlesbrough Muddle
• The Reading Corridor
• Bolton Performance
• The Birmingham Bostin’
• Wigan Athletic Athletics
• The Sunderland Yo-Yos
• The Fulham Shopkeepers
• Derby County Mounties

(Image: from YouTube)

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