Spurs win Carling Cup

Perennial underachievers and serial buyers of overrated youngsters Spurs, picked up their first trophy in nine years yesterday. The boys from White Hart Lane beat fellow London splurgers Chelski 2-1 in the Milky Carling League Cup.

Robbie Keane said that as a boy, he once dreamt about winning a not so important cup final. So yesterday was a dream come true for the Spurs striker and former world air archery champion. New Tottenham boss Ramos described it as a 'beautiful experience', ordering his players to undertake a liquid diet of double vodka and Red Bull until Spurs win their next trophy.

Jonathon Woodgate was the accidental hero on the day, finding the net in extra time after Cech had palmed the ball onto his man sized forehead. No stranger to exciting night-life himself, Woodgate has been complaining about house prices in London compared to Middlesbrough. Life is difficult on £65,000 per week. But hopefully with his win bonus from yesterday, Johnny boy can afford to rent a bedsit in Hackney.

Carling Cup Final: Spurs 2 Chelsea 1

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