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Sebastian Coe tips Alex Ferguson for Great Britian manager job

So in 2012, this little isle is hosting the big, fat, quite-expensive-and-annoying Olympic Games. What better idea then, being that we kinda invented football, to finally get a team together to represent us?

The only trouble is that most of our footballers are overpaid, actually quite unlikeable, or foreign - and the best of the rest are only really going to come from one country. Hmmm, tricky one. Who’s the best choice to manage said group and get the whole of Great Britain behind ‘the lads’? Well, according to organising committee chairman Sir Sebastian Coe, there’s only one choice - dour old Scotsman, Alex Ferguson.

Talking to BBC’s Five Live radio show, Coe said “I would love to have him there because he is a phenomenal coach and a great man manager. Who else would you want to have that mentoring role with Under-23 players for the build-up to the Games?” Who else indeed?

In fact it's probably a good idea – Alex Ferguson is famous for tearing into his young players with biblical-level vitriol, even turning up at house parties and telling everyone to go home. In short, an embarrassing, yet scary dad. Plus, if they put a Scotsman in the main man’s job, then they don’t really have to pick any of the Scottish players. Bonus!

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