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Phelps becomes greatest Olympian ever. EVER!

American swimmer Michael Phelps has become the most successful Olympian of all time, with the capture of his 10th and 11th gold medals of his career. The 23-year-old with the freakishly taught torso shattered his own world record in the 200m Butterfly (a truly pointless swimming stroke) , and then got another world’s fastest time in the men’s 4x200m relay.

These last two medals mean he’s now the most goldiest of gold medal winning gold medal winners in the history of the Olympic Games, ahead of Carl Lewis and Mark Spitz who both bagged eight. But he doesn’t have a ‘tache like Daley Thompson, so not quite the best Olympian in our eyes.

It wasn’t easy for the kelpy Phelps (sorry not much else marine rhymed) as his goggles gave up on him for the last half of the Butterfly race. 'I couldn't see anything for the last 100m, my goggles pretty much filled up with water.' He said.

So there you go, all that training, the long hours, the sacrifices. All well worth it to attain this astonishing feat that has earned begrudging respect from all corners of the globe for the young man. A young man who will be able to do whatever, most probably a smug razor advert with other sporting heroes, and whoever he pleases now for the rest of his life. Or at least until he hits 60 when his joints are reduced to dust, and no one cares anymore because the nandrolene Olympics are waaay better viewing.

All together now; YEW ESS AY! YEW ESS AY! Or perhaps not, us Brits hate winners.

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