Chelsea take on Derby tonight in a contest akin to Mr Blobby taking on Mike Tyson in a bare-knuckle fist-fight in a pub car park. No disrespect to Derby but the idea that the two teams are even vaguely similar in quality (like they’re in the same league, for instance) is laughable.

Take a look at what the manager can potentially look forward to tonight. Chelsea boss Avram Grant (is it us, or does he look a bit like Baron Greenback from Danger Mouse?) could have Frank Lampard (sprained wallet), Didier Drogba (twisted Rolex) and Petr Cech (damaged highlights) back in the team. Derby boss Paul Jewell, conversely, is looking forward to bolstering his team with Giles Barnes, Dean Leacock, Claude Davis and Tyrone Mears. Mmmm…

We pray Derby get a result tonight. Come on the Rams!

(Image: from YouTube)