On the touchline tonight, do we think Fabio is going to have an idea of what’s going on when Stuart Pearce gets up and starts barking orders to the team? (Please tell us he’ll be barking orders and not standing impassively under an umbrella sipping a brew and working out how much his pay-off will net him when it all goes pear-shaped.)

Anyway, here’s a few phrases he might employ tonight, translated just for you FAB.

“Back door, back door – send it back door!” You’re under pressure and there’s no out-ball up-field so pass to the keeper who is free.

“Get it in the mixer, son.” You, I say, you! The player taking the free-kick. Make sure you send the ball into the penalty area.

“When you’re in the six, just swing yer peg at it, for gawd’s sake!” When you find yourself in the six-yard box, why don’t you just take a shot, you fool

Hope it all works out tonight, lads.

(Image: from jpvargas’ flickr stream)