Apparently, The Special One has drawn up a plan that – if the English FA have the cojones to appoint him – Jose will implement.
Here’s what we think the plan might contain:
1. Appoint me, Jose Mourinho, to be Supreme Leader of The Galaxy and High Priest of English Football.
2. Transfer an obscene amount of untraceable bearer bonds into my Swiss bank (not bank account… I own the bank).
3. Allow me to pick any team I want – no one is too high profile to be dropped, no one too low profile not to be considered. If I pick Rodney Marsh, he plays. If I pick Michelle Marsh, she plays…
4. Let me handle the press – we have a special relationship.
5. Give me at least one European Champs and one World Cup finals in charge before you sack me.
6. Ban all talk of England being a footballing super-power until we win something again.
7. Appoint The Krankees as official team entertainers – I used to love Crackerjack.
8. Remove all Internet equipment (including webcams) from players’ rooms on the night of big matches.
We can’t wait for him to start – we loved The Krankees too.
(Image: from TheAlieness GiselaGiardino²³'s flickr stream)