Mourinho plays hard to get

Following reports earlier in the week that he was up for a chat with the FA, Jose Mourinho has apparently not signalled his interest in the England manager’s job after all, according to the BBC’s Special Sources close to the Special One.

This is a shame. Jose has the pedigree to manage top players – in fact, he already has managed half of them, at Chelsea – and he’d know how to handle the press, which these days seems to be about 95% of the job.

Also, he’d know what to wear in the pouring rain when you’re clinging to your last-ditch hope of qualification in a major tournament and the entire nation’s hopes rest in your hands. Jose would never have twirled a golfing umbrella.

So if not Jose, then who? Here are our top five contenders:

1. Martin O’Neill – says he won’t after they let him down last time, but the lure of the top job may yet prove too strong.
2. Alan Curbishley – could win the “Manager Must Be English” vote.
3. Uri Geller and Paul McKenna – if we can’t beat them on the pitch, let’s mess their minds up.
4. That man in the red tails and union jack waistcoat who turns up to all the major sporting events. At least he’s got some passion.
5. Bertie Bassett: Britain’s favourite asset and the only contender made entirely of liquorice. 

Any other ideas?

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