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Monster Masch move

You’ve got to love football agents, and their greasy little maggoty fingers, who never stop trying to grab a greater cut for themselves while shafting fans with outrageous wage demands that will eventually see the club repossessed and thrown into whichever river is nearest to you. Yes, agents are the Devils’ right hand men, only lower than lawyers in the food chain of Evil.

Which is why Javier Mascherano’s power-worshipping suit Walter Tamer is angling for a megabucks move for his player to Interazionale, European Champions and beneficiary’s of Massimo Morratti’s humungous wallet. Sit back and start to realise what it feels like to have your players poached by richer clubs with better teams, Liverpool fans, and don’t whinge; you lot were at it all through the 70s and 80s. It’s time to cowboy up.

‘Mascherano has not spoken to Hodgson nor with Liverpool,’ said Tamer, cackiling wildly as he said it. ‘After the World Cup, he has switched off but it's clear that he is happy to be a target of top clubs in the transfer market.

‘Last season, it was the European champions Barcelona that wanted him and this year it's Inter, the current Champions League winners. For him to be linked to Inter has a magical taste ... it's a dream. Think about it – the strongest team in the world wants him, a team where many of Mascherano's compatriots play and a side that is guided by a coach with whom Mascherano has a personal bond.’

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