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Michael Owen in crock shock

Michael Owen has been ruled out for the rest of the season after suffering a hamstring injury in Manchester United’s 2-1 Carling Cup win against Aston Villa last weekend. The striker pulled his hamstring chasing a pass in the first half, after he’d equalised for United, and now he’s on the long-term injury list alongside Anderson.

Most importantly for Owen he has all but ruled himself out of the reckoning for the World Cup, which, given his almost pathological desire to play for the national team is basically an admission that he’ll never be the same player again.

‘It's been a long time since I was in the England squad,’ he said, before subtly revealing what his true passion is. ‘You never give up but it's probably a long shot in racing terms.

‘I have loved every minute of my first campaign with Manchester United and have already enjoyed some memorable moments. I am determined to come back at the start of next season in peak condition.’ Seeing as you’re made of biscuits (not even a Hob Nob either, more like a Rich Tea in a damp room) there’s very little chance of that, really.

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