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Michael Jackson: Fulham legend

Fulham Football Club have always had the unfortunate destiny of being in the shadow of their bigger, more illustrious brother on the Fulham Road, scrabbling for fans and desperately trying to sell tickets in their ‘neutral’ end: it’s a sad sight, really. They’ve even got their own cut-price sugar daddy, Mohammed Al Fayed, a regular source of embarrassment.

Fayed has been quite quiet recently, having given up on pretending that the royal family had his son killed, but now he’s come with an amazing scheme that will appal Whites fans everywhere: he’s planning on putting up a statue of Michael Jackson outside Craven Cottage. The kids say ‘lol’ at a time like this.

‘Michael Jackson was truly a legend,’ he said. ‘He was my friend, a man with whom I shared many happy memories and who died a tragic and untimely death.

‘He left behind a legacy of music so vast it takes one’s breath away: from a precocious talent to an ingenuity and ground breaking modernity that shall never be repeated. I hope that many fans of his will visit the statue from far and wide.’

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