Keane transfer lists Miller

Do you saunter into the office fifteen minutes late, whistling and with the paper under your arm? If so, it's just as well that you're not working for Roy Keane at Sunderland. And if you are, you've just been fired.

In physics and many other sciences, time is regarded as one of the few fundamental quantities and this opinion is shared on Wearside. Yesterday, the ex Man Utd skipper transfer listed Liam Miller because of his consistent lateness for training. Although Miller has been performing well on the pitch Royston has revealed that he can no longer put up with the player's lack of punctuality.

The real problem seems to be that the player and manager have different opinions regarding the nature of time. Keane subscribes to the Newtonian theory of time, i.e. a dimension in which events occur in sequence. Speaking to The Guardian about Miller, there's only one Keano said, "He is a talented boy but I'm employed by Sunderland and I have to do what is right for Sunderland. I have to look at his team-mates, players who come in regularly on time and train."

Miller, on the other hand, is a believer in Kant's theory that time is not itself something and therefore is not to be measured. His agent told The Guardian that "if the punishment fitted the crime Liam could accept this more easily but he doesn't think it does."

The philosophical debate on Wearside looks set to continue until the transfer window opens again.

Keane giving Vieira a dressing down

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