Golden Balls gets golden pants
In England football’s darkest hour – since the last time we were poised to watch our chances of qualifying for a major championship evaporate – some good news from the England camp.
Dean Ashton, brightest young striker in the Premiership, is fit for Wednesday? Sadly, no.
Captain Marvel, John Terry, has had his leg sewed back on and is in the starting line-up? Maybe.
Steve Maclaren has had the cojones to stick with the midfield pairing of Barry and Gerrard, despite the better-paid Frank Lampard’s agent telling us his client should replace the excellent Barry? Nah.
David Beckham has signed a highly lucrative deal to sport Armani skids, ensuring he remains the highest-paid World Cup semi-finalist in the game today.
Are we envious? No. Are we cheesed off we’re not going to qualify? Hugely.