England beat Croatia with Walcott hat-trick


How did they do that? After the world’s most rubbish performance against a bunch of ski resort workers in the Andorra match, England somehow bent over and pulled their best performance in about four years straight out of their beeehinds to trounce Croatia 1-4 away from home.

It was Arsenal’s young boy of a winger Theo Walcott, replacing David Beckham, who was the hero of the match as he nailed a hat-trick (the first an England player’s got since Michael Owen scored in ‘that’ game against Germany).

Being that last time they played the Croatians, England managed to completely ruin their European Championship qualification chances and Steve ‘now speaking weird Dutch’ McClaren was exposed for the hapless tactician that he is, then this really is quite the turnaround.

It took merely 26-minutes for the deadlock to be broken by Walcott and then supposedly it was all England, England, England from there (we couldn’t watch because we haven’t got Setanta and were working late).

As well as Theo’s other two goals, Wayne Rooney ended his goal-drought when he snatched the second to cap what was his best performance in the national side for a while.

So there we are, England won a game. The fans will be happy, the press will get off the players backs for a while and the team will actually believe that they’re one of the best teams in the world and presume they don’t need to put any effort in, and start losing again. The cycle continues.

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