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Blatter: Dangerous tacklers are criminals and should be prosecuted

The Mozart of sweeping statements, FIFA president Sepp Blatter, is at it again. After saying that most female footballers are gay, he's now saying that dangerous tacklers are criminals and should be sent to the slammer.

"Dangerous tackling is one of the most important issues in football at the moment," Blatter said during an interview with The Times. “Players who do this kind of thing intentionally should be banned from the game.”

At least it's a little bit easier to accept than Blatter's previous master plan for making the beautiful game as 'Bootiful' as one of Bernard Matthews' Turkey Twizzlers. These stunning insights included getting women footballers to wear hot pants and making the goals as big as the side of a barn. Real visionary stuff there Sepp. What next? Monkeys in goals, gigantic footballs, no handball?

Asked about the FIFA president's call to lock up dirty players, Sunderland boss Roy Keane commented: 'I would have been doing porridge.' If Keane would have gone down for crimes against football, what would have happened to Paolo Montero and Marco Materazzi? Flayed alive by the Spanish Inquisition?

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